


wind beneath my wings

by rahelawriter



Series: That Light [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: #TeamCid, Character Study, Encouragement, Familial Love, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Mass Death, In Character, Introspection, Legilimency, Letters, Memory Related, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mind Reading, Platonic Love, Post-Deltascape, Stream of Consciousness, The Echo, before sigmascape likely changes everything, i guess an expression on how my character (and me i guess) feel about how things stand currently, it's got nothing to do with harry potter but it's the closest approximation i can make, kind of???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 14:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13459917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rahelawriter/pseuds/rahelawriter
Summary: An unassuming slip of parchment left on Cid Garlond's desk; the handwriting is messy, there's smeared ink in a few places, but it's still legible. It's a letter from the Warrior of Light, having been compelled to put pen to paper following the threat of Omega.





	wind beneath my wings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elebuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elebuu/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I really do like Nero and appreciate his complexity as a character. But his motives are still about as clear as mud, and his little speech at the end of Deltascape was still a pretty dick move. And my Warrior of Light, who's intensely protective of Cid and thus might be a bit biased/paranoid, neither likes nor trusts him. Who knows how Sigmascape will change things.

_ Cid, _

_ Ever since we left the Deltascape, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. A lot of things, actually. They've been bothering me a lot, and I need to get this off my chest before Omega calls us back to fight again. _

_ First of all… Don't listen to a word Nero says, okay? I know from experience how it can mess you up to have people like him think they understand you. Gaius tried it. Ilberd tried it. Zenos tried it… And I can’t lie, it got to me. That whole first night after the liberation, I couldn't stop thinking about his final words. They stirred up something dark, and I felt like I was going to be sick. The idea that after all the time I spent hating him, getting stronger so I could beat him, I was turning into exactly what he wanted me to be. It took a lot of convincing from my friends that he was wrong about me. Zenos didn't know the first thing about me, my life, or what I've been through to get where I am. _

_ But, back to Nero. It’s the same with him; he’s acting like he knows everything about you when all he’s got is part of the picture. I admit that I don’t know the full story between you. Biggs said back during the Crystal Tower expedition that the two of you were never friends even when you were in school, but I don’t know much beyond that. But it’s been around 15 or 16 summers since you escaped to Eorzea, hasn’t it? You’ve built so much in that time, and changed so much that what Nero thinks is true about you, isn’t anymore. And considering you were still keeping in touch with Jenomis in all this time, if you really wanted to get back in touch with Nero, then you would have found a way. _

~~_ I still remember the things he said during our fight in the Praetorium. How he said he’d kill you after he was finished with me. It still scares me to death, and I don’t know if _ ~~ _ I know you wanted to hope that he could change, and during that little escapade into the Deltascape, I was almost starting to believe he was doing just that… But then he had to go and say THAT. About ‘your old man’s incident at Bozja.’ _

_ Do you remember waaay back, when I used the Echo to help you get your memory back? I don't think we ever had the chance to really talk about that. We should, at some point. Because I feel like I saw a lot of things you probably didn’t want anyone to see, and I’m sorry about that. Because there was so much I saw running around in your head that you never talk about. But now that Nero’s dragged that back up to the surface, I might as well tell you: I know about Bozja Citadel. Those memories were in a dark corner of your mind, and there was such intense pain radiating from them that I couldn’t stand to look at them for very long. But I understood how horrible it was, what it meant to you… And how unfair and cruel it was for Nero to just casually throw it back in your face like he did. _

_ If he prefers the past version of you that thought only of ‘challenging the limits of possibility,’ even if it meant ‘bringing down the very heavens’ (that’s a really insidious phrase, now that I think about it; did you say that in regards to the Meteor Project before you knew what it really was?) to who you are now– if he thinks you were better off as a scientist back when you blindly served the Empire, being manipulated by Gaius and Solus, oblivious to what they were doing to the rest of the world and how you were helping them to do it? If he thinks all the things that are admirable about you are a bad thing, if he thinks you haven’t changed for the better, then he doesn’t have any place in the Ironworks. _

_ Nero was right about one thing, though. We did have to activate Omega. To protect the people from another Calamity, and to honor Papalymo’s sacrifice. You said it was your responsibility, but is it really? _

_ There’s too many things to place the blame on to really be sure. It’s easy to blame the Allagans; they excavated the thing in the first place, and their stasis systems clearly aren’t working. We could blame Nero, for suggesting we use Omega. We could blame the council for giving us their permission to activate it. Or Ilberd for creating Shinryu. We could blame the Griffin’s followers for falling into his trap and giving him the aether he needed to do it. Or the Ascians and the Warriors of Darkness for snatching Nidhogg's eyes up from the Sea of Clouds and giving them to the Griffin. Or Aymeric for having us throw them down there. Or Estinien and Thordan for reuniting them. Or Yugiri for telling us not to pursue Ilberd after our battle in Halatali so we could stop him then and there. Or Alphinaud for raising him out of obscurity to a high position in the Crystal Braves. And it goes without saying that I deserve my share of blame as well. _

_ Yeah, that’s a long list. I’ve lost more than a few nights of sleep, thinking too much about what I could’ve done differently, and crying about it. I’ve blamed a lot of people for a lot of things in the past. Pretty unfairly, in some cases. My point is, there are too many forces at work here for any one person to control what happens in the end, so any one person shouldn’t have all the responsibility on their shoulders. Especially not you. _

_ Let me repeat that: ESPECIALLY NOT YOU! _

_ And I know what happened to Biggs and Wedge still weighs heavy on you, but I talked to them not long ago, and they don’t blame you at all. They’re tougher than we tend to give them credit for, and they’re already on the mend; last I saw, Wedge was whining about how much he missed Alpha’s cute little face. So now that we know we know what Omega is capable of, we know what to look out for. Next time we’ll know not to split up so this doesn’t happen again. _

_ It could call us tomorrow, or next week, or another several months. But we’ll be ready when it does, okay? Even if me and my party are the ones that’ll be doing the actual fighting, your role in things is just as important. Don’t believe me? Then you should remember everything that couldn’t have happened without you. You were instrumental in rebuilding the Alliance, and uniting everyone in the fight against the VIIth Legion; Nael van Darnus would still be alive if it weren’t for your help. And Operation Archon, five years later. Without you, the Scions would never have been saved from Castrum Centri. The Alliance would have surrendered to Gaius and the Ultima Weapon. The Empire could finally lay claim to Aldenard and rule the entire world. _

_ Every time I needed you, you were right there for me. At so many of my lowest points, you helped me back up.  _ ~~_ You’re like the father I never had _ ~~ _ I may take a lot of the credit, but I couldn’t be where I am without you. Just because you couldn’t always fight, doesn’t mean you’re not every bit as important. Even if Jessie and Nero don’t agree, you’re still a hero. Please don’t forget that. You’re my hero. _

 

_ See you soon, _

_ Rahela. _


End file.
